While working on a sermon the pastor heard a knock at his office door. "Come in," he invited. A sad-looking man in threadbare clothes came in, pulling a large pig on a rope. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" asked the ma... Read more of Lessons From The Ark at Free Jokes.ca

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A Spell To Fall Out Of Love With One's Ex

Be sure you want to break the link allpletely.

This is folk-magic, and it works. It can only be worked in Fall, when the black walnuts are

ready to harvest. Because it is performed naked, in the dark, it is not suitable for everyone.

You will need:

* a piece of paper from a brown paper bag, freshly torn on all four sides

* a small pencil with no eraser on it * matches

* a black candle -- it can be a plain offertory candle, a taper, or a figural candle of a human or a devil.

* black powder incense to which you should add Valerian

Root, Red Pepper, and Mullein Leaves. (If you cannot find

plain black powder incense and those herbs, use an

herb-based mixture containing them, such as Black Arts Incense.)

* nine black walnuts still in their green husks. You will probably have to go into the country

for these -- they are not sold in stores.

* a silver-colored metal bowl.

Place the walnuts in the bowl. Undress at midnight on a night when the moon is dark.

Take all the supplies into your bathroom.

In the dark, with no light, write your ex-lover's name on the piece of paper, and say

[Name of Person],

this is the last time I will write your name!

Light the candle, use the candle to light the incense, look at the name paper and say

[Name of Person],

this is the last time I will see your name!

Fold the paper in half so the name can no longer be seen.

Draw a hot bath and throw the nine black walnuts into it. The water may turn brownish.

Get into the bath with the walnuts. Pour the dark water over your head nine times and each

time you pour it, say:

[Name of Person], I wash you out of my life.

Arise from the bath and pull the plug.

As the water runs out, pick up the candle and hold it over the bath water.

Take the person's name-paper in your other hand and set it on fire with the candle.

As it burns, say:

[Name of Person], I burn you out of my life.

Drop the burning paper into the bath water, wait a brief moment, then plunge the candle

upside down into the bath water to extinguish it while you say:

[Name of Person], I extinguish you.

Do not dry yourself with a towel, only let the air dry you.

When the water has all run out, collect the nine walnuts (and the husk fragments) and

place them back in the bowl. Now, still entirely naked, walk outside carrying the bowl of

walnuts and throw them away at a crossroads or street intersection or, if that is impossible,

throw them against a tree -- but be careful to not drop any pieces of them in

your own yard. As you throw away the walnuts, say:

[Name of Person], you are dead to me

And dead to me you'll always be

Wander the world both near and far

But touch me not, for dead you are!

Carry the empty bowl home without looking back, wash it out, and put it away.

As long as you never write or speak the person's full name again, he or she will remain

out of your life and your former love will be broken.

VARIANT:

Get 9 Walnuts and boil them in 3 quarts of water until the water evaporates down to

1 quart in volume and turns brown. Then place the walnuts and their water in the bowl,

as described above, and proceed as described except that when its time to throw

the Black Walnuts into the bath with their husks, throw in the

boiled walnuts with their quart of brown water.

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